It really sucks having like no social interaction since march. I mean besides school. It's actually kinda rather depressing and can drive you to the brink of your sanity after a while. Texas is beginning to weigh on me heavily. we need to move. soon.

WHY does everybody come to ME for money?! Hi, i dont have any money but still, feel free to ask me like its no big deal :| ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY STILL OWE ME MONEY...I am just TOO fucking nice and I HATE IT.

only jjb can start a squabble over me calling my cat weird. *sigh*

i'm feeling hormonal. BLAH. and kinda panic attackish. i hope i do ok on my psych test today.

I'm so sick of people giving me shit for caring about animals. It's really ridiculous. and then when they bring humans into it, pisses me off even more.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you realize that no matter what you are going through, someone out there has it way worse? I had one of those today. I got no sleep last night and i have a shit load of work piled on me due tomorrow and friday is my big ass test and im kinda stressed a lot about that. well today, i was so annoyed and dead tired and just, gah. well today, i walked into the school bathroom and i see this girl at the sink crying with medicine sitting on the sink. so i ask her if shes ok and she apologized (which lets face it, you dont need to apologize for crying) and i asked her what was wrong and she told me that shes bleeding internally because she has a cyst and it was hurting her. wow. yeah. that totally made me shut up and knocked me down about being upset about my own problems. As stressed and as tired as i can be sometimes, there are people like her who have it way worse. just need to stop and think about that sometimes when you're feeling weighed down. Not saying that our problems arent significant or anything, just, we dont have it as bad as we think we do sometimes. we could be bleeding internally on top of school or work.

I get so stressed over homework and assignments that I need a break to clear my mind before I even start. how lame is that ? This is freaking hectic enough and i dont need mindless nonsense drama making it worse. Yeah and all of it is due like, this week. so that makes it even more complicated on top of a big test on friday. and then i have people nagging me. I DONT HAVE TIME FOR STUPID OTHER SHIT. STFU.

He is un fucking believable. The cat has been keeping me awake the last 3 hours, his phone rings 15 minutes before I have to get up, which wakes me up and i drift back to sleep and then he fucking starts the coffee machine and wakes me back up, HE gets to go back to bed I dont and he says I have a shitty attitude because god forbid i want to try to squeeze in 5 minutes of sleep. W T F. its called BEING CONSIDERATE, ASSHOLE. omg i would NEVER do that to him. >: aniojfao;ijf This is a wonderful way to start my shitty ass day of going to a class I despise. yay.

I've determined that ridiculous or not, I NEED to pursue a career in the music industry. Anything else, just the thought of, brings me to tears. It's my passion and I need to see where I can go with it. I know that it is going to be a loooooong journey, but I think it'll be well worth it.

I swear to god, if it wasnt so cruel I would fucking declaw that cat myself. I am SO sick of that little shit scratching me every fucking time i turn around, just because hes a little spaz. he just scratched my FOOT. i mean a BIG scratch like it cut my foot open scratch. >: and its the ball of my foot too. grrrrr

put me out of my misery. I tried icy hot, didnt work. I tried a hot bath, didnt work. Now the only thing going on with me is im in pain and have icy hot all over my fucking body and IT WONT COME OFF. IM GOING NUTS.

People really need to fucking back off today. I am NOT in the mood. people are starting shit for no reason and im not dealing with it.

We FINALLY did it! We got a WII!!!! eeeeeek!!! SO EXCITING!

Date:	2007-09-15 14:19
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	lethargic

I can not believe it has been 8 years today since my daddy died. It is so surreal. :( he would have been 46 years old. I love you daddy and I miss you so very much. 8 years ago today was the worst day of my life and the beginning of the downfall of jackie.

note to self: dont listen to butterfly kisses. ever.

I don't give a shit what people say, I cant let my bands or those good times go. If that makes me pathetic. I dont care, those were possibly the best times of my life and I wouldnt trade them for anything. So what if I miss that and them. i'm allowed that. Those times were just so fun and lively. And the bands were so fun and real. Those are my boys and I just can't help it. That is what kept me going and for that, I will always be thankful and happy for it.

I suck at life. I am STILL trying to come up with a topic for my paper and the 1st rough draft is due tomorrow. wtf. How fucking stupid can I be?

After having him home every day for the past month, him being gone until friday sucks. :( I almost forgot how much it can suck having him gone a few days a week all month long.

I couldn't even walk past psych class today without feeling like it was a funeral and i had to talk myself down from crying from the sheep brain in there. And then when I went in there, i teared up a few times again. People were being nice, but I know that they were really making fun of me, whatever, i dont care. I am SO glad I didn't have to see it though, because that really would have made me cry. I tried though, I really did. I just, couldn't. on top of that, she had to talk about epilepsy and thats what my dog died from. So that was just all around hard. Thank god i got to leave early. She was nice and didn't even single me out she just said if anyone doesn't want to see the sheep brain was allowed to leave. and then she came up to me and told me that i could leave and we were done, they were just gonna play with the brains so yeah, i left. someone else did too. but i think for different reasons. I fail.

also, in my other class today this girl came in with cuts alllll up and down both arms. I felt so bad for her. Its weird because i dont remember seeing them at all last week when she had a dress on. I wanted to say something to her, but I just couldn't. I felt that would be rude. But I dont even mean in a rude way, but in an understanding way. I hate seeing that on people.

Hey, which one of you peoples wants to come to my wedding? I know atleast ONE of you do.

and yes, i know this has horrific grammatical errors, i do not care.

I am so fucking sick of going out of my way to do nice things for people and not even getting a fucking sincere thank you from anybody. I need to stop being so damn nice. Hell I need to just stop all together. I also have this ridiculously enormous guilt and bad feeling thing, where i feel both, about any and everything. Big or little whether it is needed or not. I need to stop that as well.